Smurfass: An Unsmurfy Smurfette
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: An OC had fried Smurfette's brain and severely damaged it. The Smurfs struggle to adapt to the change as the new smurfette get's them on their nerves awhile the OC tries to fix the damage already done. Warning: This was made Jackass Style.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

It all started like this, Chernov was busy making preparations of his "mind control" device. Outside of his mushroom home was a tall radio tower with a satellite dish on the top, he had the thing built a week ago and no smurf in the village had a clue on what it is for.

Chernov is a Green Human Smurf Hybrid who is 4 apples tall and wears a camouflaged jacket, pants, and smurf hat. He is skinny and more in shape than any other smurf in the village, however he is also smarter than Brainy. So smart is that he's going to try to take control of Gargamel, the problem is that he hasn't done this before.

He had done the math over 175 times for the past month, check and rechecking it. He finally believed he got it right but wasn't sure if it would work, he always wasn't sure if anything he builds would work. He stayed up all night just to make the final adjustment, then finally he grabs the large metal switch on the wall.

"Gargamel," he muttered, "You're mine moa ha ha ha! Wait, that was a bad evil laugh."

He pulls down the switch, suddenly the radio tower became electrified and was bursting lighting out in all directions. The switch had jammed and everything inside the house was smoking, an explosion occurred launching Chernov out of his house through his front door. Just in time for the smurfs to come in mass numbers, and boy they were scared to death.

Chernov got up and he was just in time as a powerful blast of lightning shot out of the tower and struck something somewhere within the village, the strike of the lightning was the sound of a sonic bomb up close and personal. Whoever was asleep was now awake, and some are going to be cleaning their underwear before breakfast.

"What happened Chernov?" asked Papa Smurf as he rushed to Chernov's aid.

"Oh my god! What have I done!" cried Chernov in a state of shock, "I think I've killed someone, that lightning must have hit someone!"

Brainy grabbed a pail of water and splashed water on Chernov's face, snapping sense into him. "Where did that lighting struck?" he asked calmly.

There was smoke coming from a nearby mushroom house, everyone rushes over to the source and discovered that it was coming from Smurfette's house. More specifically her bedroom.

"Oh my dad is going to kill me!" cried Chernov, "If he finds out about this, he's going to lock me into a room with a fat guys as he is farting like crazy!"

Chernov broke down the door and rushed upstairs to find Smurfette laying lifeless on the ground, her hair was shorter than usual and her eyes were individually pointing at random directions. All in the while, she has smoke coming off of her. Baby Smurf was crying as much as he can as Sassette was knocked out cold, probably from the shock. "Man, I screwed up good." said Chernov, "Forget the fat guy, he's going to bring in an elephant!"

"She's still alive!" said Brainy, "She has a pulse!"

"Quick, let's get her to Doctor Smurf pronto!" ordered Papa Smurf.

Brainy and Hefty carried Smurfette to Doctor Smurf as Chernov picks up Sassette and Papa Smurf picks up Baby Smurf, they all rushed to his mushroom home where Doctor Smurf did all his best. 10 minutes later, Smurfette came to.

She sat up off on the bed she happened to be placed on and looked at the smurfs who was worried to death, then she developed a big smile on her face. "Wow, that felt like a smurfing ride on Feathers!" she said excitedly, the smurfs soon dropped their jaws to the floor. Sassette happened to regain consciousness and Chernov let her down, "Smurfette," she cried.

"Sassette!" cheered Smurfette and picked up Sassette and gave her a big hug, "I was just dreaming about you!"

"You were?" she asked.

"Yeah, oh I love you so much!" said Smurfette as she proceeds to tickle Sassette. As Sassette laughed, Chernov pounds the nearby table with his fist completely destroying it and got all the smurf's attention.

"Smurfette, I'm sorry it was suppose to be Gargamel," said Chernov, "Oh man, oh smurf, she's still alive. Wait a minute... Oh no."

Chernov ran out of the mushroom home and head's back straight to his, Papa Smurf hands Baby Smurf to Brainy and took off after him just as Brainy Smurf hands Baby Smurf to Doctor Smurf before following Papa Smurf. The two smurfs followed Chernov all the way back to his house and found him staring at a whiteboard full of equations. "Right there!" he cried pointing to an R, "That's what caused it!"

The R had an equal sign next to it and it lead to a bunch of equations that have to do with Ohm's law and Radio Frequencies, but something's unusual as there was an arrow coming out of the R and looped around the equation and points to the letter S on the other side.

"What is it Chernov?" asked Papa Smurf.

"To make a long story short," said Chernov still staring at the R, "I've severely damaged Smurfette's brain and rewired it, creating a totally new personality that is only seen in my human FAMILY!"

"On your Human Father's side?" asked Brainy.

"Yes," answered Chernov as he makes eye contact with Brainy, "Smurfette's condition is called Reznov Syndrome, a neurological disorder founded by my dad. What it does is to either man or woman, oh crap, it made Smurfette terribly immature, a tomboy, a sex addict, a couch potato, oh it's worse than Jokey Smurf's bombs and Brainy's yapping. This was first seen at my Aunt, my dad's 10 year old sister. It's horrible, horrible!"

"Is there a cure?" asked Papa Smurf.

"It's permanent," said Chernov, "That's why I'm freaking out, it won't be long until the change takes a physical effect."

"Papa Smurf, Papa Smurf!" cried a smurf as he ran into the mushroom house panting, "Smurfette is going nuts! Just look!"

Papa Smurf, Brainy, and Chernov follows the smurf and they saw Smurfette running off into the woods BUTT NAKED! The boys can only watched in disbelief as she disappeared into the woods, no one bothered to chase after her as they all just stood there with jaws dropped.

"Oh boy, we need my father!" said Chernov as he pulls out his cell phone, pressed a button, and held it to his ear, "Dad, I need help. I've fried a smurf's brains and they're going nuts, how bad is it? She's in her birthday suit."

"Alright Chernov, I'm coming," said his father on the phone, "I'll meet up with you in a few hours, just hang on until I arrive."

Chernov puts away his cell phone and looked at Papa Smurf, "He's coming," he said, "He sounded grumpy though."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

A few hours later, Chernov's father arrived via parachute. He was wearing the same camouflaged clothing as he but instead of the smurf hat he has a helmet instead, his name is John Reznov but everyone calls him Dimitri. Standing 6 ft tall, he stand right about Gargamel's height.

He took off the parachute and dropped it on the ground, "You know what Chernov, your job was to learn from the smurfs yet you have to ruin it for everybody and claim responsibility." he says, "Well, at least your responsible. Now what happened?"

"I was making mind control technology and somehow fried Smurfette's brains across town thanks to a lightning bolt," said Chernov, "She took off running naked and ran off into the woods, then I called you."

"By god Chernov, that was the most ridicules story I ever heard but luckily it's happened before." said Chernov, "All my brothers and only sister acts that nuts, but no more than my sister and boy that description you told me about Smurfette can easily fit my sibling. There is nothing I could do, but I could give you advice that only you can use."

"What's the advice?" asked Chernov.

"Use your instinct, your personality alone will get her under control." said Dimitri, "Just do what your gut tells you, oh and a few more things that I need to warn you about. If it as bad as what you described, then you'll have to expect Smurfette dressing boyish. On top of that, she'll pull pranks on everyone as she can, eat two times her body weight, sleep for half the day, doing such disgusting acts, the rest you'll figure out on your own. To the rest of all of you smurfs, she'll be just as annoying as Brainy after a few weeks. By that time, her appearance will change a lot."

"So only I could get her under control?" asked Chernov.

"You are a Reznov, only you could tame her." said Dimitri, "The only good thing about this is that her relationship with the smurflings might improve and spend time playing with them, more than what a mother should do. Anyway, all of you are screwed unless you can tolerate her but look at the bright side. Your romantic feelings might get you somewhere if you play your cards right, however she won't marry either of you and would simply spend time with all of you."

With that, Dimitri pulled out a dark circle thing and threw it on the ground then jumped through it. The circle shrank and disappeared, he was now long gone. "Well, here goes nothing." said Chernov as he heads off into the woods, "If I'm not back by dinner, come find me."

With that, all the smurfs head back to their homes at their everyday jobs. Papa Smurf went back to his home and sat on a chair and stared at the wall for a moment, wondering what he should do about Smurfette.

Chernov managed to track down Smurfette up on a tree, she sits there on the branch with her goofy smile as she threw smurfberries at Chernov with stunning accuracy. "Smurfette, please come down," said Chernov.

"No!" he responded like a 4 year old child, and threw what appears to be a brown gooey ball at Chernov and it landed between his feet.

"Don't tell me what I think you just throw," he responded.

Smurfette pulled out a gallon of chocolate ice cream and and ice cream scoop and threw it at Chernov, and missed. Chernov had enough and grabbed onto the tree and used his Supersmurf strength and uprooted the tree out of the ground and shook Smurfette off, she landed nearby square on her head. He then tossed aside the tree, which landed in a loud thud and tackled Smurfette to the ground. She laughed just as Chernov wrapped his arms around her.

"If you wanted to, you could have just asked," said Smurfette.

"Wow, what have I done to you?" he asked, "Come on, let's get you back home.":

Chernov helped Smurfette up and wrapped her in a white bed sheet to cover up the indecent exposure, he walked her back to the Smurf Village where he leads her back to her house. "Now don't come out until you put on some clothes," ordered Chernov.

"Yes, Chernov," she giggled as she shuts the door behind them.

He then turned and was about to walk home when he saw a dozen smurfs with angry faces as they stare right at him, "Your hate against me is nothing compared to the hate against myself for this," said Chernov, "I suggest all of you try to ask Smurfette out awhile you have the chance, she won't say no for anything romantic except marriage."

Chernov soon walked away, the smurfs looked at each other and realized he's right. This is an opportunity that is worth taking but how did Chernov knew that? He walked back into his house and took a picture of all of his equations before erasing them and starting over, and spends the all day trying to figure out how to reverse Smurfette's condition using math alone.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

Three days later, no one has seen Smurfette come out of her home. Only Sassette comes out once and awhile and claims that she never had this much in her life with Smurfette in ages, when Smurfette finally came out. The change was obvious.

Instead of her usual dress, she is now wearing yellow overalls and a yellow smurf hat. Her blond hair is up to her chin. Her body odor was putrid, causing the smurfs to gasped for air. Luckily for them, they no longer smelled the odor as quickly as it came and never smelled it again since. When Chernov saw this, he didn't say anything but only watched in a state of shock. Hefty walked up to her and held up a flower, "Smurfette, would you go with me on a date with me?"

"Sure," she responds as she takes the rose and placed her arm around Hefty's shoulder's , "Anything for you boys."

Chernov walked the two walked off with Hefty's eyes wide open, either it's the fact that she accepted his offer or it's the smell of her armpit. Either way, Chernov has to tell someone about this. "Gargamel," he muttered. He looked back at the radio tower and saw that it's all charred and burned from the electricity that once engulfed it, Chernov had a special backpack on and it's time for him to use it.

He activated his Jet Pack and the airplane wings stuck out of his bag, he then shot up into the air and flew straight towards Gargamel's hovel. He stopped at the front door and knocked on it, and the unsuspecting wizard opens the door to find Chernov hovering in the air at eye level. "What do you want Hybrid?" he asked.

"I came to tell you that Smurfette has changed," he explains, "I fried her brains and now she is neither the smurfette you've or the smurfette that the Smurfs made good. She's something more, she doesn't even act feminine anymore. Worse, my eyes seen things that it's hard to describe. Could blind a child if they seen what I've seen."

"So Smurfette is changed once more correct?" said Gargamel.

"Pretty much," said Chernov, just before he shot straight up into the air and disappeared into the sky in a sonic boom.

"Why did he tell me that?" asked Gargamel to himself and then developed a sinister grin, "Oh this is interesting, I'll use this to my advantage one day. He he he."

Back at the smurf village, everyone struggles to adapt. Days past and Smurfette hadn't made things easy, she ended up dating a few of the smurfs and after the date they rather not talk about it. When Farmer Smurf was tending his garden, he saw Smurfette sticking her hand into the ground and pulled up a big fat worm and he watched as Smurfette sucked it into her mouth as if it was spaghetti and ate it.

Grossed out, he vomited onto the ground and passed out. Maybe it's because he fertilizes the soil with Smurf Crap or it's the worm directly, anyway Smurfette simply moved on and left him there lying on the ground.

Next, Brainy was just about to use an outhouse nearby Farmer Smurf's garden. When he opened it, he saw Smurfette sitting on the toilet with her overalls down and with a magazine that says "XXX for Women" in her hand and her groin in the other hand. Brainy can't believe his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Mastursmurfing," said Smurfette.

"What is mastursmurfing?" asked Brainy, "You know what, I don't want to know."

Brainy shuts the outhouse door and heads off to another toilet, this time hopefully vacant. After the incident got out, Handy has installed locks on all Outhouse doors to prevent history repeating itself. That didn't work, as she forgets to lock the door.

Other bizarre incidents took place as well, Smurfette was flirting with the boys more often and was playing with the smurflings almost twice a day. However, she is becoming more and more irresponsible as she becomes less of a mother figure to Sassette and more as a sister her age. Chernov peaked through her window and saw her lying on the couch sleeping, on some days he seen her reading Math and Science Books. Similar on what Brainy does at his spare time except he uses a chair instead of a couch.

A week has past, Jokey tried to prank Smurfette at her doorstep with a "surprise" present but Smurfette grabbed the present and smashed his head into it. When it explode, it left his face and shoulders covered in thick soot. "Surprise!" cheered Smurfette, "You just got smurfed with your own bomb!"

Smurfette slams her front door shut and Jokey ran off crying, Chernov managed to get a picture of Jokey with his camera phone and sent it to his dad to see what Smurfette is causing. Dimitri texted him saying, "That's only the beginning, you have seen nothing yet."

The next day, Chernov saw Smurfette sitting on her doorstep with Baby Smurf in her arms. Smurfette was giving Baby Smurf a bottle, but not just any bottle. Chernov locked onto the bottle and it looked like a glass rectangular bottle, it was large when compared to Baby Smurf, and to the look on Baby Smurf's eyes he soon realized what the bottle is.

He marched over there and swiped the bottle out of Smurfette's hands and tossed it over his shoulder, the bottle landed on Clumsey Smurf's head a hundred apples away and knocked him out cold. As he collapsed onto the ground, Chernov scolds Smurfette as he takes Baby Smurf out of her hands. "Shame on you! Giving an infant alcohol, how irresponsible are you!"

"I..." stammered Smurfette.

"Smurfs have to be at least a hundred years old to drink alcohol Smurfette, you could have killed the baby with alcohol poisoning."

Smurfette burst into tears and ran inside into her home crying, after she shuts the door Chernov took one good look at Baby Smurf. His breath smells like alcohol, it was definitely bad. So he walks to Papa Smurf's house and opened the door, the village leader was busy reading about about magic spells as Chernov takes a chair and sits down on it.

"What's wrong Chernov?" asked Papa Smurf as he closes and puts down the book, "Why do you have Baby Smurf?"

Chernov sighed and said, "I've definitely screwed it, Smurfette's changed forever. She'd gave Baby Smurf vodka and I swiped him out of her hands and scold her for it, I was too hard on her as she burst into tears and ran inside. My dad is right, worse is yet to come and this is a sign that it's almost here."

"Is people in your family like this?" asked Papa Smurf.

"My Great Grandfather start drinking alcohol when he was 5 and he quit when he is 70," said Chernov, "The centenarian is still alive even though he lives past 100 years, he is one of the few thousand humans who seen the cold war come and go."

"What about your Uncles?" asked Papa Smurf.

"They viewed my father as the leader, there parents simply lost all control of them." said Chernov, "That's like every smurf in this village suddenly rebelled against you and kicked you out, how does he maintain is position? He's the most responsible."

"Oh, what have I done." muttered Chernov as he rest Baby Smurf against his chest, "Sassette may never forgive me for this, Gargamel may be disappointed because Smurfette is his daughter. Magic is not going to fix this, what I have done does not involved magic."

"You seemed responsible though," said Papa Smurf, "You were taking responsibility on what happened to her, and the alcohol..."

"There's a reason why I don't let smrufs drink it," said Chernov, "They don't understand how bad is it, but other than that it's against your order on not to act 'human'. Smurfette ignored the rule regardless and stole some vodka I made for myself, she may have loved me then but now... I made her worse than before."

"Give it a few days until she cools down," advise Papa Smurf, "Until then, you can take care of Baby Smurf yourself."

"Good idea, I'm going to need Sassette to keep an eye on her though since she is the one who seen her everyday," said Chernov, "If she commits suicide, I'm going to strap C4 to my chest and blow myself up in Gargamel's hovel. Don't tell the smurfs I would do that, they have no idea on how far I would go on whatever situation there is. Even if it threatens my life."

Chernov got up and walked out of the door and closes it behind him. Papa Smurf stares at the door for a moment and returns reading the spell book, things were quiet for the rest of the day.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

A weeks past by, and still Smurfette hadn't come out of her house. Sassette reported that she was lying in her bed on most days, just lying there and not moving. Scaredy Smurf thought that she's dead but Sassette reassured that she's still alive as she checked every morning. "Oh I wish Smurfette would cheer up," she said, trying not to cry.

Chernov tried his best to correct the equation that made Smurfette "change", since it was his mind control technology that caused this after all. He was literally pulling out his hair every time he redos and redos the equation, he finally snapped and threw something out of his window shattering it. "I just don't get it," said Chernov to himself, "What is the problem?"

After staring at the problem for a long time, he then thought of an idea. "Let's try doing the problem in reverse," he said to himself. He eventually erased the problem and did the problem in reversed, he can't believe his eyes. "I spent weeks doing this and the most simple way on doing this is to reverse the effects by reversing the math?"

"Finally, problem solved!" Chernov announced to himself, "Now to do the work on the Mind Control Device."

He spend an entire day rewiring everything, when the sun comes up the next morning he is finally finished. But before he could do anything further, he has to apologize to Smurfette. He had Baby Smurf sit in a crib he made in his bedroom, after cleaning himself up Chernov picked up the infant and heads off to Smurfette's house. "Now when I give you to Smurfette, you act as happy as possible so you can cheer her up." said Chernov.

The baby nodded, as if he understands him.

When Chernov opens Smurfette's door, a wave of garbage came pouring out and it went up to Chernov's knees before it stops. "Now where did that come from?" he asked to himself.

Sassette pokes her head out of the pile of garbage and says, "Smurfette, they're wrappers from Smurfberry cupcakes I got from Greedy Smurf which I gave them to her."

"How come you haven't clean this up?" asked Chernov.

"That's Sloppy's job, but he hadn't came in lately" said Sassette, "I'll go get him right now."

As Sassette digs herself out of the garbage and runs off, Chernov walks through the trash and heads inside. All the wrappers lead up the stairs and into Smurfette's room, when he walks inside he see's her lying on the bed facing away from Chernov. Just lying there just what Sassette said. Smurfette looked like she put on a little weight, due to all the wrappers everywhere. Chernov soon realized that he came unprepared as he hadn't come up with a speech to cheer her up, so he has to do what he does best: Wing it.

"Smurfette?" he calls, Smurfette doesn't answer and she remains silent, "I'm sorry Smurfette, I'm sorry for everything."

He sat Baby Smurf on Smurfette which he climbs all over her as Chernov continues to speak, "I'm sorry that I've changed your personality and I'm sorry about taking Baby Smurf from you and made things worse, it's just that... I realized that the very day you come to my door and say that you love me that you remind me of my mother. She died before she get the chance to raise me, my dad as you know left me here with you guys for his own purposes. Only coming here when I get into serious trouble."

Smurfette still doesn't respond, but it's clear that she's listening.

"I may have told you and the smurfs probably a gazillion times about what happened to my parents, but the reason why you and the smurfs never see me smile or anything is because I grew up without a mother. My past may be totally different from you smurfs but when Humans either had a parent die and the other abandoned them awhile they were young, it haunts them for the rest of their life. Here's Baby Smurf, he's fine as he misses you. Oh, and here's a picture of my mom."

Chernov pulls the picture out of his pocket and shows Smurfette, when she looked at it she saw that Chernov's mom had hair up to her chin and it was brown. She wore Green Overalls and a Green Smurf Hat, she had a big silly smile on her face and her eyes were cock eyed. Pointing outward away from her nose. Smurfette can't bear to let out a chuckle, "She doesn't look like me." she finally said.

"After I fried her brain, you do now." said Chernov, "She was created by Gargamel's spell and used the Smurfy potion on her before bringing her to existence, then something occurred and fried her brain the same way that I fried yours. My dad impregnated her by artificial insemination because he hadn't had cloning technology at the time, by the time she gave birth to me she had cardiac arrest and died. Since smurfs don't 'physically' reproduce, dad never told me on what she went through to bring me to the world."

"Oh, that's so sad." she mumbled.

"Are you ok Smurfette?" asked Chernov.

"Still no," she softly said, then he turned around and looked at Chernov, "But thanks for bringing Baby Smurf back, I didn't know children aren't suppose to drink alcohol."

"And you shouldn't have gotten your hands on that stuff, if I was Papa Smurf I would had punished you for acting human." said Chernov, "But probably I did, and I'm sorry that I was that harsh. Knowing that the emotional toll will never fully heal, at least you know I apologized."

Chernov heads back downstairs and kicks away the trash and walked out of the house, by that time Sloppy had arrived to clean up the mess Smurfette made. "Oh smurfy, free garbage!" he cheered as he starts cleaning.

By the time Chernov reached back home, he heard a scream coming from the woods. He ran as fast as he can towards the source of the scream and found Sassette hanging from a tree upside down, squirming as much as she could to get her free. Before Chernov could do anything, a large figure grabbed him and shoved him inside a sack. As Chernov fights to get out, Sassette came tumbling inside the bag and he catched her.

"How did you get yourself into this mess?" asked Chernov.

"I saw a a bowl of tasty smurfberries and the last thing I knew I was smurfing all over the place," said Sassette.

"Well, at least there's a dramatic scene for once." muttered Chernov, breaking the forth wall.

It wasn't long before Smurfette came running out and into the woods, she ran to the sight on where Sassette screamed and discovered footprints. One set from human shoes and another set from a cat, she knew instantly who it was. "Gargamel!" she stamped, "Wait until I get my hands on him!"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

Chernov and Sassette sat there in the dark as the capture took them far from the Smurf Village, after about an hour they heard a door opening and closing and the footsteps changed tone as it's now walking on hard flooring. Suddenly, the bag turned upside down and Chernov and Sassette were dumped into a cage with long metal bars. They soon recognized their smurfnapper.

"Pappy Gargamel?" said Sassette.

"And why can't we be friends?" asked Chernov trying his best to make the bad situation sound funny.

"Oh, I was after the smurfling but catching you is a great bonus." said Gargamel.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Chernov, "Turn us into gold or eat us? I taste horrible and spicy, might turn your insides into mush by the time I'm in your system."

"No, I'm not going to eat you or turn you into gold," said Gargamel, "Worse, I'm going to boil you two alive and serve you to my guest that are coming."

"Let me guess, your mom?" asked Chernov, "And your godfather."

Gargamel was silent for a long time and then gave in, "Alright, yes my guest is – my mom – and – my godfather Balthazar. How'd you know that?"

"There's a note on that wall over that says 'Serve Smurflings to Mummy and Balthazar when they arrive," said Chernov.

Gargamel walked over to the wall and grabbed the note and crumple it up and throw it into the trash can.

"Supposingly on why do you want to serve smurflings to your rivals?" asked Chernov.

"The Gargoyles want revenge and I promise them on killing those Smurflings," said Gargamel.

"You can't hold up to your promises, you failed to destroy the Smurfs over a gazillion times." pointed out Chernov.

"Yes but," said Gargamel.

"You located the Smurf Village a gazillion times two but forget the location everytime," also noted Chernov.

"Uh..." muttered Gargamel.

"And I remember that time where my pa comes in here and kicked your ass and dragged you back to the Smurf Village and back here, with an injured me by his side." noted Chernov.

"Enough!" screamed Gargamel, "I'm going to cook you now!"

"Oh hold on, I gotta clean my colon first." said Chernov calmly and then he farted for 10 straight seconds. Sassette didn't smell anything but the stench had drove Azrael out of the house and it caused Gargamel to get nauseous, he ran to a nearby window and vomit out of it. Sassette held her finger up and Chernov pulled it, causing her to fart a little toot. That toot was twice as strong and more concentrated causing Gargamel to vomit more, Sassette can't help but laugh as Chernov just sat there smiling.

"I remember that time that my Uncle drank his own sweat," said Chernov, "And then he ate horse sh#t."

"Oh stop!" cried Gargamel as he vomits out the window, Sassette laughs harder.

"I remembered that time where my aunt had ate a Krispie Kreme Cheeseburger, it's donuts stuck together between a meat patty with cheese and bacon." said Chernov, "And then she added pulverized earthworms with her french fries and stuff."

"You're making me sick," cried Gargamel.

"Oh and one more thing, who stepped on a duck?" asked Chernov, letting out a 5 second fart.

Sassette tried to pass gas herself but with no prevail, she tried harder and got a result that didn't sound good. "I messed myself," she cried.

Gargamel cursed and swore foul language out the window for about 20 minutes awhile he pukes, by the time he's done something else happened that seemed redicules.

"Hey Gargamel," yelled a voice.

Gargamel turned around and saw Smurfette, with a flamethrower?

"Oh, so Chernov did fried your brain," he said.

"And I'm going to fry your ass!" she yelled and sets off the flame thrower. A burst of fire came out of the nozzle and stuck Gargamel hard, turning him into a Human Torch. Chernov wisely covered Sassette's eyes until Gargamel jumped out of the window and ran off screaming. Smurfette takes off the flamethrower and climbs up onto the table where Chernov and Sassette's cage sits.

Before she could get it open, Chernov grabbed the bars and bent them like they're nothing and walked right through. "Had it all planned out from the beginning," said Chernov as he hugged Smurfette, "Thank you though."

"We've gotta go," said Smurfette, "I'd set that thing to blow up."

"On my word, RUN LIKE HELL!" screamed Chernov as he grabbed Sassette and Smurfette and carried them over his shoulders as he ran out of the hovel in lightning speed, just before the giant structure explodes into a fireball.

They got within a safe distance from the hovel and Chernov sat the two smurfettes down, "Let's not tell the Smurfs about this one guys," said Chernov, "If they find out about it, tell them I did all the work and I'd set it on fire. Remember Papa Smurf's word, never act human no matter what situation."

"I'm sorry," said Smurfette as she faced down.

Chernov used his hand and raised her face to meet his eyes, "It's not your fault, I've changed you and made you... yeah it's that bad." he says, "Don't worry, I'm going to fix all this right away."

"You will?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah, but with the weight around your waist that's your problem," said Chernov, causing Sassette to laugh.

Smurfette let out a whining groan as the three heads back to the Smurf Village, they walked into Chernov's house and placed a headband with wires attached to one of Chernov's machines onto Smurfette's head. "You sure this would work?" she asked.

"I did the math," said Chernov, and here it goes.

Chernov flips the switch and the whole place went white for a few seconds, by the time it fades away. All three smurfs were lying in the ground, a bit dizzy on what happened. Chernov looked at Smurfette and was amazed, she no longer wears yellow overalls and smurf hat. She wears a white dressed, white hat, and white high heals once more. Her hair is long again and she had slimmed down, it must have been magic.

"Smurfette, tell me what your thinking?" asked Chernov.

"I've been wondering what makeup I would wear and what dressed should I..." Smurfette stopped as she looks down, she put her hands on her stomach and then on her face then looked at a nearby mirror.

"It worked!" she cheered and hugged Chernov, "Oh thank you for giving me my life back."

"Your welcome," said Chernov. "And you smell great, no family odor or anything."

"Family odor?" asked Smurfette.

"Something you might not understand, but it's great to have you back Smurfette," said Chernov, "Again."

Smurfette and Sassette left Chernov's house and walked back home, fellow smurfs saw Smurfette and were relieved that she was back to normal and no longer brain damaged. Chernov watched her as she and Sassette walked back into her house, a few moments later Brainy came out of her house with a confused look on his face then walked off.

"I hope I fixed everything," said Chernov to himself.

Chernov went back inside his house and shut the door behind him, later in the day Sassette went outside to play and Baby Smurf was asleep. "Oh, what should I do?" she asked herself, and then saw her hand and smiled, "Oh now I know what to do."

She then heads into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, in this case it's obviously clear that Chernov didn't fix everything. But at least it's close enough, maybe not. But that's what you call a Smurfass.

**THE END**


End file.
